Ending the Affair: A Woman’s Story

I was asked a simple but very difficult question, one that many people in an affair can relate to: I love him deeply, but he insists that our relationship is an affair. No matter how hard I try to hold on to what we have, my heart still craves everything with him. It’s incredibly tough to end this affair and let him go. How can I find the strength to make the right decision, even though it’s so cold and hard?

It’s always hard to let go of someone you really care about. Even though it was an affair, that doesn’t not negate your feelings and that hurts.

That being said, also understand that the person you love is not the complete person or should I say you are getting a different version of him. Your AP is not the actual man he is. He is who he is because he requires/has an alternate in you. He would not be the same person if he only had you. He had you out of necessity (based on his current marriage). Had he not been married, very likely you as a couple would not exist. That should be the catalyst in making a still very difficult decision to move on.

The fact he stated you will only be an AP let’s you know you are purely a strawberry to his vanilla at home; a different flavor but not his preference.

Lastly, I’m not here to say he doesn’t love you, he very much may love you but (and I’ve said this before) NO ONE will leave a marriage based on love alone (hence why he could say this is just an affair). People leave marriages because the marriage isn’t working. People have affairs when they are not getting what they want / need from their spouse. Understand that.

You are fulfilling a need for him. He is filling an emptiness in your life. You deserve a complete man, not a partial man to fill your wants and needs. It’s going to hurt but also know you are not getting 100% anyway. It’s impossible for him to give 100% if he has a wife at home.

You have to decide for yourself if you deserve more. Once you make that decision, it is there is where you will find the strength to end things. It will hurt, you will cry, it will take time and you will be better. Better at making decisions, better at committing to someone who will give you their 100% and this will be part of your past, your history what will make you that much better.